


Night Vision

by roozaliin



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Age Difference, Bratva, Bratva Captain, Bratva Oliver Queen, F/M, Felicity is Oliver's ptichka, Felicity needs oliver, Felicity's father sucks, Irish Mob, Jealousy, Possessive Behavior, Protective Oliver, SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION, Self-Harm, Violence, alternative universe, from enemies to lovers, so much Bratva Olicity, very sexy Oliver Queen, welcome to Gangster's paradise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-08-09 18:58:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roozaliin/pseuds/roozaliin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Daniel Smoak, Felicity Smoak was his daughter. For the Irish mob, Felicity Smoak was The Princess who was going to lead the organization one day. For the outside world, Felicity Smoak was no one. But for Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak was his little птичка.<br/>‘’Why do you call me like that?’’ Felicity asked.<br/>‘’Because you are a little bird, held in a cage who desperately needs to be freed …’’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heya guys! I'm very happy that the inspiration hit me to write this and i'm very excited for it and i hope that you will like it too. So here is the Prologue and i hope that you will enjoy it and i'm sorry if you find any grammar mistakes but English is not my native language.  
> Happy reading ♥

‘’I’m gonna die.’’ She kept repeating it like a mantra over and over again.

She was freezing, not from the cold winter night, she was freezing inside because there was nothing left, nothing worth to live for. She gave them everything. She gave them her soul. She gave them her whole life. She dedicated herself to this stupid mafia and yet no one was going to know who she was. No one was going to remember her because she had no one. No one to trust. No one to love her. No one to care about her. No one was going to miss her, _no one_.

She was all alone in the cold, cold night waiting for her last verdict. She was going to die too young by the hand of that _monster_ , without having the chance to fall in love, to explore the world, to find herself, to have a _real_ family, to find peace and finally be _happy_.

‘’I’m gonna die.’’ A small tear fell and made a contact with her cheek. She didn’t mind it, she didn’t even try to get rid of that tear, instead, she left it to make its way down, because that’s was the only thing which was still making her a human. That was the only thing which was making her feel _something_. She knew that this was the last time when she will cry and express any emotion. This was the most precious and simple thing on the earth which she allowed to appreciate one last time. So, she let the small tear because it was her only friend in the dark. Her very first and last friend in this world.

Her body was giving up on her. She knew it. She didn’t have much time. She was shaking so bad that the hypothermia was inevitable. She was so cold that she couldn’t feel her wet clothes over her anymore, she couldn’t feel her legs and her throbbing head. The sharp pain in her stomach was making her weaker and weaker with every second.

She was laying on the cold ground, hand-pressed on her stomach, trying to stop the pain. To stop the pain that _they_ caused her. The pain which was the essential of her living or more accurate – her surviving, among the sharks in her pathetic life. She was trying. God, she was trying every day to stop the freaking pain but she was too naïve, too stupid, too proud, to make any move. And now, she was too weak again, not to stop the pain in her heart, to stop the bleeding from the wound. And she just gave up because she couldn’t do anything. The pain was always going to be here and she didn’t want to spend her last minutes, thinking about her miserable life.

Instead, she decided to watch the sky. To watch the dance of the thousands snowflakes above her head. For the first time in so long, the silence didn’t bother her. It made her feel in peace with the night. In peace with the city she used to call _home._ And it felt so good. The snowflakes kept dancing their dance, touching her cheeks, playing with her blonde curls, hugging her body and covering the traces of her own blood.

Maybe soon she was going to be free just like them. Maybe soon she was going to see her mother. Maybe soon everyone were going to be happy because she will be finally gone and she won’t cause any troubles anymore. Maybe …

The pain in her stomach was getting stronger and stronger, her breathes - sharper and sharper, the night was getting colder and colder, her vision – blurrier and blurrier. All she wanted was close her eyes for a while and forget about the pain.

But one thought couldn’t get out of her mind, no matter how many times she tried to push it away from. Was her father going to miss her? Or he was going to choose the mafia again instead of his own daughter? Did he even care about her? Was he even trying to find her at the moment? Or he was sitting in that old chair, drinking scotch with his old buddies?

Thousands of questions were popping in her head but they did not have answers. She only hoped that one day he would change his mind and put his family before the brotherhood. But she knew that she won’t live and see that day with her own eyes because she will be gone. And forever forgotten, like she never existed in this world.

She blinked, once, twice and another tear made its sweet escape because she knew that he won’t come back. Her father won’t even move his finger for her, or make any try to find her, no he would rather let her rot like one of his men, than saving his own blood. And that was the sad truth. She was all  _alone_.

She removed her hand from her wound and placed it on the necklace, she was wearing. _The pendant arrow_. The necklace she promised _him_ that she would never take off no matter what. The necklace which symbolized their hate for each other and yet, the necklace which symbolized that she is _his, only his_. She was  _his_ from the first time he dared to lie his blue, blue eyes on her, on that stupid meeting. The memory made her shiver even more because she remembered his words so crystal clear like it was yesterday. They were his promise to her and now she was breaking that promise because she was dying all alone on that ground, surrounded by her own crimson blood. He would be mad at her. No, he would be furious at her because she was breaking his promise. She was betraying the only person who promised her something since she was a child. Her hold of the arrow tightened and she truly wished _he_ would be here right now, to yell at her, to break things because of her, to _kill_ for her because she was dying and was breaking _his_ promise. She needed him, like she needed air to breathe. But he was gone, just like everyone in her life.

Going back, she realized that _he_ was _the only one_ who actually cared about her. No matter that it wasn’t love. And that felt good. He may be _the enemy_ but in that moment she knew that _he_ was more family than her own father and that truth hurt the most.

She was going to die with the thought of _the enemy_ , instead of the man who dared to call himself _a father_. And still, she felt good. She couldn’t explain it but remembering those deep blue eyes made her calm and lull her to sleep. Using her last painful breaths and energy for holding that stupid necklace and think about _him,_ felt good. _So good_. Yes, he wasn’t physically here with her, but those ocean blue orbs were chasing her, everywhere she went and that was enough for her. _He was here_. He created his own place in her heart long time ago, so she could carry the memory of him everywhere. He was here and only that mattered.

If this was how the death looked like, she was ready for it.

The cold brutal wind kept hitting her pale face over and over again, ready to start a riot with its own sad, lonely song. But still, she was the only one who choose to keep listening to his furious voice. She was sharing his pain and loneliness. They were two lost souls in the dark.

Her world felt apart. She was all alone since the moment she took her first breath in this world and she was going to die alone with the last breath left in her weak body. And that was the huge irony. The destiny played its cruel game with her since she was born, till her very end. All _alone_.

A thin shiver run through her whole body and a cough surprised her. She felt the metal taste of her own blood in her mouth. She knew that this was the end. She read so many books and watched too many movies during the nights, knowing that this was the end. Tasting her own blood was the sign that her life was almost over. Her breathing was becoming harder and harder and her lungs were burning inside like fire. It was crazy how her whole body was still somehow fighting to live, but her heart was already cold and dead inside. It was frozen just like the cold, winter night. Frozen with pain and thousands of promises, frozen with the pieces of her disappointments and the broken trust. Frozen, because she was finally paying the price of this mean world.

But she was fine. She was used to this life because she never had the chance to knew and live another one. You don’t live, you survive only to meet the next day of your hell. And that’s what she was doing in those 21 years. She was surviving and fighting to see the next sunrise. But the world on her shoulders became too heavy and finally she gave up. She lost the game. And in this world the losers were punished. Punished with _death_.

The little sparks of the almost sleeping city in the background made the silence unbearable again for her. She never felt that spark inside by her own without his help. _He_ was the only reason who could make her feel that spark in the short time they knew each other. The thought of _him_ , made her clenching the hold of the necklace tighter and she felt a warm liquid to make its way down to her hand and elbow.

Yes, she broke his promise but at least she was going to die with the memory of him.

Her eyelids got heavier and her body calmed only with the thought of those ocean blue eyes and his husky voice. He made her weaker when she was around him and stronger because he always knew how to challenge her and push her to the limits. He never dared to judge her because deep down he knew that they were the same. And that made him special in its crazy way. He might hate her, but still, she was so grateful to the universe that decided to send him to her in that night and change her last days for better.

For now, all she wanted was to close her eyes and sleep.

A little smile adorned her pale face because she finally realized that this was the really end of her life. At least, she was _happy_. _He_ made her happy in a way no one had ever dared to try.

She just wanted to sleep.

_’You are mine.’_

The memory of this voice lulled her into the infinity.

She closed her tired blue eyes and barely managed to whisper the one word she was denying to admit since he laid his eyes on her. The only word which finally changed her perspective for life. The only word which ever mattered to her since that summer night in _Cinema_.

‘’Yours.’’

The last thing she felt before she gave up on completely were the two strong and familiar arms around her lifeless body. The two arms which she knew better than herself. The musky sent hugged her like a big warm, fluffy pillow. She felt it …

She felt home, in the warmth of _the enemy_ …


	2. Too cheap, too flirty, too exposing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys! First of all, i want to thank you for the amazing respond which this Prologue received and for all kudos you left me! It means the world for me! Before i officially start this story i want to warn you that it's gonna be very dark and full with violence and hate - we are talking about Bratva after all.  
> Here is the first official chapter. There is violence, so i prefer to warn you before you start reading it. If you don't feel comfortable with the scenes, you can skip those parts!  
> I really hope that you will like it and have fun! I'm sorry if you find any grammar mistakes but as i said English is not my native language.  
> Happy reading and see ya all next week! ♥

_6 months before the Christmas party …_

If someone was going to say that the summer days in Starling City were going to be so awful, Felicity would wish only one thing - the whole city to stay frozen, under the winter’s snow. The heat was so unbearable that around 5 o’clock in the afternoon the only people who were outside in the whole property and were actually training, were her stupid bodyguards who were trying to keep her ‘’safe’’. Blah blah blah. Bullshits. No, they were trying to keep her under their control or more particular, under her _father_ ’s control who by the way happened to be the leader of the Irish mob. Yeah, being the daughter of the leader sucked. A LOT.

Here, she was lying in her California King Bed, with a tablet in her hand, trying to kill the time because her _dear father_ decided to lock her in her room again, because last night she tried to show a little rebellion and that didn’t appeal to him. She was trying so hard to be the perfect mob daughter but it seemed that for Daniel Smoak it was never enough.

Today was one of those days in which she didn’t have mood for anything. Even her tablet looked boring in her hands, so she tossed it on the bed. Felicity grabbed one pillow and threw it on the floor because the frustration was taking over her. How in 21st century she was locked in her room because she tried to give her damn opinion on something which was going to help her father? This wasn’t fair.

Her whole existence wasn’t fair.

She was wondering what her life could be if her mother was still alive? Was her father going to be that ruthless and cold too? Was he going to care more about his men than her own daughter, like did it every day?

Felicity had so many questions but she never got the chance to find the golden key for her answers.

Alone. That was the word which was describing her the best. She was all alone. She was alone since the day she was born. Her mother didn’t even have the chance to hug her and whisper sweet nothings, because the moment Felicity Smoak took her first breath on this world, Donna Smoak, took her last one. Yeah, the world was cruel with Felicity since day one and after all these years in pain, it still keep being cruel with her. She grew up with people who were coming and eventually leaving from her life too soon. And that’s why Felicity slowly lost her trust in people.

On age 5, she had seen more spilled blood on these castle walls, than a normal grown up person has ever seen in his entire life. _The walls_ , she was calling _home_.

Felicity hated everything in that mansion. The people, the decoration, the floors, the carpets, the curtains, everything you could imagine, because the blood of so many innocents was spilled everywhere, you could look around.

On age 10, she already had the nightmares. The nightmares, which were haunting her every single night since the day she saw how her own father killed his best man in front of her eyes, in that dark corridor. She still could remember the warm feeling of bloody droplets on her pale face. She still could remember the evil laugh of her father which was echoing in her ears even now. She still remembered his words which were craved in her head – _‘You kill or you will be killed’_. She still could remember his cold merciless hands on hers - tiny ones, holding her so tight that he was causing her pain and later leaving dark bruises. He forced her to kneel on the bloody carpet with the gun, he killed minutes ago his best soldier, pointing it to her temple, ordering her to clean this whole mess and take a freaking shower because she looked _ugly_ and _dirty_.

She remembered it.

That night, under the hot spray of the shower, she started to doubt herself. Was she good enough? Was she beautiful enough? Was she going to become a monster just like her father because she cleaned the blood with her innocent hands? Was she going to be just like _him_ one day? She became insecure. Insecure of the people, insecure with her actions, insecure with how she looked like, insecure of what love looked like.

Was someone ever going to love her? To cherish her? To warm her 10-year-old heart and make her forget about that world?

But the answers never came out …

On age 17, Felicity was already taking the pills. Her anxiety problems and panic attacks were sometimes so bad that she was ending in the hospital because she couldn’t breathe. Every time she was in the hospital bed, she was thinking that this was going to be the very end and she will finally die and find peace. But that never happened. She was always waking up in that white gown in the room alone, because her father didn’t have time for something like that. He didn’t have time to stay and hold her hand telling her that everything was going to be okay. He didn’t have time to come and visit her, to make sure that she was actually still _alive_. No, he didn’t. But he always had time for his precious mob. And that was Felicity’s personal hell.

Every time she was stepping in that house filled with blood and dead people, she felt like drowning.

In one particular night, Daniel Smoak came in her room after another panic attack to tell her that on age 21 she was going to be married to a man from the mob and everything about the marriage was already arranged. All she had to do was sign the papers.

She refused.

He yelled.

She fought.

And he slapped her.

She fell on the floor.

He laughed. That evil laugh which brought her back to that night in the corridor with face and hands, covered in blood.

He slapped her again.

And she ran.

He caught her. But she was still fighting to get away from his grip.

He hit her, _hard_. And she knew that she couldn’t breathe.

He pointed his gun to her chest.

She was suffocating with the need for air.

He pushed her on the bed and threw the papers in her face like he was throwing the money in the face to his mistresses. Felicity felt cheap and used.

He put his hand on the trigger. And without thinking, she took the pan because there was no other way. She changed her future with only one signature.

And then he left like nothing happened, taking with himself one of her last pieces of humanity.

Yeah, in that night she felt used and completely broken. She made a deal with the devil. She had no idea where she was going to be after 4 years. She had no idea how they were going to treat her. Probably it was going to be worse. She had no idea to whom she was going to marry. She had no idea what she just did. But she knew that her death was officially signed.

She slowly crawled to her night stand and opened it to find the tiny orange box. With shaking hands, Felicity opened the lid and took two white pills and closed her eyes. She had no idea that the tears were falling like a torrential for a while.

She opened the bathroom and stayed under the shower for 2 good hours, even the fact, that the water was cold and she was freezing. That was just another example of her lonely, pathetic life.

On age 18, after a party which her father threw specially for her _grown up_ daughter, Felicity cut her wrist for the first time. After the most humiliating night in her life, all she wanted was to die. All she wanted was her mother. And she wanted to see her again. She tried. She cut and cut and cut but still, she didn’t have the damn guts to cut deeper. She was living under terror and dead bodies during her whole life and yet, she hadn’t the guts to kill herself. She was weak and useless.

All these men who were touching her everywhere in the ball room and whispered how good she feels and how good they bet she feels in bed, made her sick. What her father did? _Nothing. Absolutely nothing._ They were breaking her, killing her inside, touching her with their filthy, bloody hands, trying to steal kisses from her but her father did not do anything. He was just staring and wickedly smirking, drinking from his old scotch, without giving a damn fuck what they would do to her, to his _daughter_.

This wasn’t a party. This felt like a public house. She felt like one of these women whom everyone wanted to touch, to feel and _have_. She felt sick. She was humiliated by her own father in front of the eyes of the whole Irish mob.

Yet, she hadn’t the guts to cut deeper. Because Felicity Smoak was _weak_.

Here, she was again. Locked in her room, lying on her bed thinking about her whole life. She was playing with one of the bracelets that was hiding the evidence of her failures during the years and pray that someone will unlock the door. Her father was so mad at her that he stopped the Air Conditioner in her room and now she was trying to find a way to survive the hot summer day.

Recently she was thinking a lot about her past life and the things which her father forced her to see, to feel or do. Felicity knew that this world was not for her. She wasn’t made for this mobster life. She was often asking herself how her mother used to survive it.

She took her tablet again and decided to shop some books and clothes online because she wasn’t in a hacking mood and now shopping was her only distraction to not think about her life or the war she was leading in her head and heart.

Just before she was ready to order a book from her favorite web site, the door slowly unlocked and two men got in her room without her permission. They were dressed with black suits and with guns in their hands.

_Daddy’s little bitches._ Felicity thought.

She didn’t give them the attention they deserved and instead, she kept shopping, aware of the fact that they were staring at her. Those two were her bodyguards. Felicity called them Dumber One and Dumber Two. Dumber One was the first who spoke and broke the silence.

‘’The Godfather said that tonight you are going to _Cinema_.‘‘

‘’He said that it’s a meeting with members of all Mob organizations and he wants you to dress properly for the club and wait him downstairs at 8 o’clock or there are going to be consequences.’’ added Dumber Two.

Felicity didn’t even try to look at them because they were disgusting. Of course her father wanted her to be at _Cinema_. He wanted to parade with his daughter and tell everyone that she was already an almost married woman to one of the men, in the _Irish mob_. Daniel Smoak wanted to make every man jealous tonight and Felicity knew the games he loved to play. He wanted to show to everyone that his precious treasure is _off limits_.

The thing she didn’t understand was why there were going to be members of all Mob organizations. Felicity knew that something was off but she had no chance to deny her father’s wishes because she didn’t want to experience his violent methods again.

Dumber One hit his rough hand with anger on her desk and brought Felicity back to reality. He startled her so bad that her heart started to beat very, very fast and she was almost sure that she was going to need lots of the white pills for tonight.

‘’Do you understand _Princess_ or you want to understand it on the hard way?’’

_Princess_ was the ‘’title’’ they gave her since she was the daughter of the Godfather. She hated that name more than being _a Smoak_. It sounded like someone’s pet and Felicity wasn’t Daniel’s not his men’s little pet. She was a woman by her own but yet she couldn’t show it behind those walls.

‘’Yes, I understand. Tell him that I will be downstairs at 8 o’clock.’’ Felicity said coldly without daring to look them in the eyes. She hated those men, just like she hated her father. She kept her gaze on the tablet, staring at the title of the book she just bought – _‘My blackest days’_ by Dr. Caitlin Snow. What an irony - Felicity’s whole life was painted in _black_ , everywhere she looked around, everything was turning _black_. She lost the colors of her life because Daniel Smoak decided to take them away from her. To rip them from her and leave her in the darkness.

‘’Good. See you later, _Princess_.’’

Dumber One and Dumber Two left her alone in the unlocked room to get ready for the long night which was waiting for her.

Felicity was looking at the closed door thinking how on the Earth she deserved that miserable life? Why she hadn’t one, _one_ damn friend to tell everything? How she feels, what she wants to do, how badly she dreamed for the day that she will try to escape and her plan will be successful. Why? Oh yeah, because her father was keeping her here like a prisoner.

She brushed the tear which was almost ready to fall and tossed the tablet on the bed. She got up and opened her huge closed to find the perfect dress and make her father happy for a gazillion time.

Felicity took a black strapless dress and looked herself in the mirror but when she saw the reflection, she immediately put the dress on the floor. She didn’t like what she saw. It made her feel like one of her father’s mistresses. Felicity felt sick and she reminded to herself to burn that dress later. _It was too cheap_.

She picked a red one with a deep V-neck, showing the valley between her breasts and a slit which was going to show her toned legs but she frowned in the moment she saw herself. She didn’t want to bring any sexual attention on her and around the mafia. Felicity remembered the day she bought that dress. When she saw it in the boutique in Starling City’s mall, she immediately fell in love with it, because it reminded her of her mother. She remembered the nights she was staying awake, staring at the old photo albums and the pictures of Donna Smoak and her red, red lips. Felicity hoped that one day she will put that dress on, for the man she was going to fell in love with, but that day was never going to happen, because she was almost a married woman to an unknown man. So she dropped the scarlet cloth on the floor. Felicity didn’t need anyone to look at her hips or her neckline tonight. _It was too flirty._

She picked a dark purple dress which was going to stay tight around her torso and show her good-looking body, filling her on the right places. The dress literally didn’t have a back so Felicity knew that she was going to feel uncomfortable because everybody were going to want and touch Daniel Smoak’s daughter as soon as they got a chance. She was going to feel like a toy with which everyone wanted to play with, so she threw the fabric on the pile of dresses on the floor and focused her attention back on the closed. _It was too exposing._

Felicity was moving her fingers through every soft and colorful material, searching for the best dress but they were all showing too much of her skin. She knew exactly where she was going. She was going to be in _Cinema,_ in a room full with filthy mobsters looking for fresh blood and Felicity didn’t want to leave their wild imagination fly around because of her cloth choice. She wanted to look formal and mature, and yet, beautiful without showing too much flesh and feed the men’s hungry eyes. She wanted something not that revealing.

Felicity was humming a melody while her eyes were moving to every dress in the closet.

An emerald cloth stopped her attention. Felicity reached for the dress and put it on herself. She was staring at her reflection in the mirror, searching for something, anything to change her decision and throw it on the floor where the rest of her dresses were, but she didn’t find any imperfection.

It was a sweetheart emerald green, cocktail dress which was going to rest above her knees and actually it didn’t look that bad on her. The dress didn’t reveal her breasts because there was a stripe around her neck and the length was perfect. She looked mature and young at the same time. The color was in contrast with her creamy skin and Felicity hummed in approval. _It was the perfect one._

She put gently the dress on her bed. She looked at the clock on her night stand and gasped. It was already 6:30 and she completely lost a track of time.

Felicity quickly headed to her bathroom and took a hot shower to calm her nerves because she had no idea what she was going to expect tonight. She was prepared for everything but she knew that if something bad was going happen, her father won’t protect her. Felicity was going there by her own no matter that she had Daniel, Dumber One and Dumber Two and the rest of the mobsters from the Irish mob. She was going to protect herself from them _alone._

If she had to run, she was going to run. If she had to beg for her life, she was going to beg someone to take it. Why? Because she couldn’t be the Godfather’s _Princess_ anymore, she couldn’t let someone to marry her. She couldn’t bear the thought that soon she was going to be married for another monster. God knows how many bad things he was going to make her do, or he was going to do to _her_.

Felicity stepped out of the bathroom and sat on the vanity to put some make up on and to cover the dark circles under her deep blue eyes. Yesterday night she had another episode of an anxiety attack and she couldn’t sleep all night and now her blue orbs were looking tired.

She put the red lipstick on her lips because that was the only left connection with her mother and finally Felicity took her time to look herself in the mirror.

She was proud of how good she managed to hide her real self behind the make-up and the expensive dress. She was proud that now she didn’t look like the broken doll she was. Now she looked like a _Princess_.

_Her father’s little princess …_

* * *

 

It was 8 o’clock when Felicity entered the main room of the mansion and she finally had the chance to look at her father.

Daniel Smoak was a man in his late fifties. He was the child of the previous Godfather and he took his position on the age of seventeen, after his father accidentally died one night in his sleep. Some people say that he was killed, others – that he was poisoned by his own blood and another didn’t dare to show their opinion because they were too scared to be killed. Since then, Daniel became the most ruthless and merciless leader who the Irish mafia had ever had. He didn’t care how many people he had to kill every day as long as his precious world was protected. He always said _‘You kill or you will be killed.’_ That was the Irish mob’s motto. You have to learn to survive or you will die.

Daniel had salt pepper hair, icy blue eyes and a huge scar around his neck, caused by a man who tried to take his position in his early twenties. Every time Felicity was staring at that scar, she was feeling disgusted because it only showed what a real monster, her father was.

His face somehow still looked younger no matter on what age he was. He was a man with style. He always wore suits. _Black_ suits with a gun, hidden near his suspenders.

Daniel Smoak was a man with whom, you didn't want to mess with and he proved his reputation many times to his people and to his own daughter as well. He was always surrounded by his best men or his new mistress, or the new people he was making a deal with. He was never _alone._ He was the complete opposite of Felicity. He was always out, coming back late. Some days he was covered with blood, some days his shirts were covered with cheap pink lipstick, some days his face was bruised and others - he was there to teach his little girl a new lesson about how bad, she was behaving around him and his men.

He was a chameleon with different colors but he never was  _black,_ just like Felicity was.

There he was, surrounded by his men again, waiting for his _puppet doll_ to come over.

He heard the clicking sound of Felicity’s heels and turned around to have a better look at his _own_ blood. A wicked smile adorned his face, reflecting the Devil himself.

Felicity knew that his men were watching her, smirking at her, drinking her with their traitorous eyes, watching every move she made. But Daniel didn’t care at all. And that was bothering Felicity since she grew up.

‘’There you are Princess. Are you ready to go?’’ Her father asked her, looking at the view in front of him. ‘’You look gorgeous tonight.’’

‘’Thanks dad.’’

Felicity’s hands were clenching the clutch bag she was holding because she wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. She couldn’t believe in her eyes that her father was so kind with her today. She couldn’t believe how scary he looked yesterday, almost ready to hit her and today he was a brand new person. She knew that something wrong was happening with him because he may be everything, but a gentleman to her – _never_.

‘’Then, let’s go. Stefan’’ That was the real name of Dumber One ‘’Get the town car ready, the people are expecting us.’’

‘’As you wish, Godfather.’’

As soon as they were out of the house, Felicity let herself breathe. Breathe the summer air and the smell of the fresh grass around her. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to memorize the precious sent, because she had no idea when it was going to be the next time, when she will be outside again.

The sun was slowly sitting down over the horizon and Felicity smiled. She learned to appreciate those little things in life, from the moment she became a prisoner in her own house.

She felt a hand around her arm and her peace was broken.

‘’Let’s go.’’ her father said and Felicity only managed to nod because she didn’t have the power or the need to talk with him right now.

She got in the town car, ignoring him. Felicity sat near the window as far as she could. She needed that distance, she needed to stay away from his bloody hands, from his predatory face, from his neck scar because he was making her sick. He only reminded her that he wasn’t her father. Not anymore. He lost his right from the moment he made her forget who Felicity Meghan Smoak really was. She hated him. She hated him so much for the all pain he dared to cause her. She hated him because he never let her go and visit her mother’s grave. She hated him because she never had the childhood she deserved. She never received love from him. He never took care of her when she was sick. He never said one damn good word for her. She hated him so, so, so much.

Felicity looked at the changing views from the window, imagining what her mother would do now. God, she needed her. She wanted to hug her and never let her go. But she was gone before she had the chance to see her daughter’s first breath in this cruel world.

Felicity closed her eyes, ignoring her father, Stefan or whoever was talking. She decided to ignore them and relax as much as she could in her seat because she had no idea what was going to happen tonight. Her hand touched one of her bracelets and started to play with it. It was a tick she developed during the years and in some kind, it was calming her down to stop another episode of hers or to start cutting herself again.

Felicity lost the track of time and when she opened her eyes again, she realized that she wasn’t moving. The town car wasn’t moving and everything seemed still.

A huge blue sign took her attention and Felicity kept looking at it like she was hypnotized. Her heart started to beat faster and faster and she was feeling on the edge. She wanted to get out of here so bad because she still had the time, but she couldn’t.

‘’Welcome to your hell, Felicity.’’ She managed to mutter to herself and no one heard her.

Felicity gave one last look to the sign before she got out of the car and went straight into the lion’s den.

_Cinema_ …


	3. The Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This the next chapter and i think that you are gonna be happy at the end :D  
> I want to warn you again that there are some violence scenes and if you don't feel comfortable, skip them ;)  
> I really hope that you will like it and have fun!  
> Happy reading and see ya next week ♥

The moment Felicity made her first step in _Cinema_ , she was greeted with neon and sparkling lights. Hundreds of bodies who were swaying with the music, trying to loose themselves in the night. Felicity wished that she was one of those carefree people. She wanted to be no one, for one night, just like them.

 _Cinema_ was one of the most famous night clubs in Starling City. No one knew the owners. But the rumors said that everyone who dared to ask, never turned back home - _alive_. The club was the most modern place for the youngsters who loved to party, but they had no idea what was happening downstairs. The underground was a casino where many mobsters lost their lives because of stupid deals, money, higher positions or women. The club was a dark façade, hiding the ugly truth about what was really happening under the ordinary people’s feet.

Felicity turned her head to look the place and her gaze immediately stopped on a couple were dancing. At the first sign, the boy and the girl looked normal just like any other normal couple in this world, but what they actually did, was hidden behind the neon lights and the semi-dark room. The girl secretly reached her hand, away from the gaze of the people and the boy took a little blue box from her. They kept dancing, following the beat, but Felicity wanted to know what was in the box. The boy and the girl were smiling at each other, kissing, yelling, having the time of their lives, not even thinking about what the teenager took from her purse.

The boy snuggled his hand and traced it under the girl’s pink top, touching her thin waist. She smiled. He kept touching her higher and higher. They were dancing. He was smiling. She leaned and whispered something in his ear. His smile became wider. And in that moment in the dark, Felicity became a witness of their little crime. The boy reached his jeans’ pocket and took the little box out. The girl seemed too eager and grabbed it from his hands, opening the lid with shaky hands. And then she put a green little pill in the boy’s mouth. _Drugs_. That was the first thing Felicity thought. They were taking drugs to get high and eventually end up later in some motel room having some fun.

Felicity felt sick and turned her head immediately. She felt ashamed. She felt so sorry for those teenagers who were causing this to their bodies. They deserved more than one night stand and blurry night with drugs. But she couldn’t do anything for them.

Her eyes were flying everywhere until her gaze landed on two girls who were kissing very passionately in front of the whole club. They didn’t care about anyone and that made Felicity jealous of them. Because that’s what she wanted too - to not care about her life and live it on her terms. They were so consumed in each other that, they had no idea what was happening around them.

The music changed. They kept kissing. The crowd changed. But they never dared to take their eyes off of each other. The place was still the same. But they were different. The way they were looking each other was one of a kind. Felicity only read in books about it. She never experienced it. She dreamt about it million times. She was watching the stars every night, wishing that she was going to have what those two young women had –  _love_.

Sometimes, Felicity was lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about what a true love meant. She was wondering what was the feeling to be kissed because in her 21 years, she never had the chance to kiss someone. That was her father’s fault, not hers but still, she kept wondering what was the feeling. Was there any spark? A warm feeling? A connection? A pure desire? _Love?_

Felicity smiled. No, she was wrong, she wasn’t jealous of the women. She was happy because they had found themselves. They were soulmates. They were found their path to each other’s hearts and only that mattered for them. They didn’t care about the rest of the world around them. They cared only about the precious moment, they were sharing _together_.

Felicity didn’t want to take her eyes off them because she admired their strength to show themselves in front of everyone. She already like them but she knew that she had to remove her gaze because she didn’t want to look like one of those creepy stalkers.

She tugged her emerald dress and kept looking around.

Yeah, the music totally changed because now it was playing a slow romantic song and many couples were dancing in the center of the club. The lights changed. From harsh, neon and colorful, now they were mix of pink and red, making the room warmer and cozy. The crowd was quiet and it seemed like everyone were enjoying the moment with their loved ones. Felicity could hear the little talks, the soft giggles, the little whispers which were echoing in her head.

In that moment she wished she had someone to share that little precious moment with and not with her father and his men. She wished she had that romantic dance on the dance floor just like the rest of the couples. She only wished …

Felicity turned her head away from the crowd because she didn’t need another reminder that she was alone and miserable. She looked above her head at the thousands of little lights who were changing with every second. There was something calm about them. Felicity didn’t know what but they made her feel _alive_.

Her eyes kept tracing the way the pink was changing into red over and over again, till she completely lost the track of the time. And then a strange feeling made her froze.

If someone was going to tell that Felicity Smoak’s life was going to change forever, she was going to laugh in the face of the one who ever dared to say it. If someone was going to say that Felicity’s journey was finally starting today, at the beginning of June, here at Cinema, in that particular night, she was going to take the dagger, she always kept in her clutch bag and stab the person in the heart. If someone was going to say that Felicity Smoak was starting a dangerous war and tonight she was slowly drawing the battle lines, she was going to want to be dead. But no one prepared her for that day …

The real question here was - was she ready to meet her destiny and give her soul to the devil?

Felicity wasn’t moving. Hell, she couldn’t move because something, was stopping her. Something was pulling her back. She didn’t know what to feel – anger, fear, happiness, desire or she was just hypnotized. She could feel eyes on her. Someone was watching her. Someone was studying her. Someone was probably stalking her and she couldn’t see who the person was.

A thin shiver run through her body and she was absolutely sure that whoever was watching her, already knew what was doing to her body. For the first time someone was taking control over her without Felicity’s permission and she felt the anger building inside.  She couldn’t let someone to dictate her feelings and desires. Not here. Not now. Not in front of all these people. Not in front her _father_. She didn’t have the luxury to show weakness, especially tonight.

Felicity scanned the crowd, searching for something wrong, but she couldn’t find anything. She wasn’t scared. She knew that whoever was making two burning wholes in her back, would never dare to touch her in a place like this one, filled with so many people. She wasn’t scared, she was curious to see who was trying to win her attention. The grip on her little black clutch bag tightened and she was sure that if the lights weren’t so dimmed, someone could notice how her knuckles were turning white.

Felicity looked at the bar but everything was calm and no one was ever watching at her direction. Her hand touched the silk emerald green material of her dress and tugged it down, trying to cover herself from the eyes of her stalker.

She felt exposed and center of the attention. She didn’t need that. She needed to only survive the night and close herself in her bedroom with her tablet and books.

Felicity hated the dominant approach, her stalker had. He could see her, he could see every move she made, every breath she took, every respond her body was making but she couldn’t. The eyes of her secret new friend in the dark, _never_ left her. She knew it. She knew it because the atmosphere changed the moment, he dared to lie his eyes on her. And that feeling, that strange feeling was getting stronger and stronger with every minute.

Felicity wasn’t scared. She was _thrilled_ by the silent game he wanted to play. And surprisingly, Felicity wanted to be a part of that game. She didn’t want him to stop whatever he had on his mind.

Her eyes were flying everywhere. The crowd on the dance floor, the bar, the people on the tables and then again - the crowd on the dance floor, the bar, the people on the tables, but her secret new friend was nowhere to be found. Felicity wanted to see him. She wanted to know why he was studying her so much. With what was she so special?

The previous anger which was building inside her was now a pure curiosity. She wanted to know that person. She wanted to find him but it seemed that he did not want to be found.

For the first time in her life, Felicity Smoak felt wanted by someone else. That feeling was foreign for her but still, she wanted to experience more of it. She wanted to know more about it. She wanted to know what, the two women who were kissing, felt for each other. She wanted. No, she needed it, deep in her bones, she needed it.

The air around her became heavier. Her skin was covered with goosebumps. Her breathing became a hard task to manage. A little droplet of sweat felt on her cheek. Felicity had never experienced something like that before. _Someone_ like that before. And for a moment she felt scared because she knew that this feeling wouldn’t last long and soon it will be gone just like everything in her life.

Dance floor, bar, people. Dance floor, bar, people. Dance floor, bar people.

Felicity lifted her head to search for her _night vision_ in the VIP area and finally, finally her eyes locked with his for the very first time this night.

From the place he was standing, Felicity could see only his silhouette. He was holding a glass in his hand, staring at her. She couldn’t see his face. She wondered what color his eyes were? What his lips looked like? Was he smiling at the moment? What was he thinking?

Yeah, she was wondering and she left her imagination go wild. But she couldn’t deny one thing – he was a very good looking build man and he was definitely rocking that black suit of his. She bet that the muscles which he was hiding behind that three piece suit, were hard like stone. And boy, she wanted to touch his toned body so much right now.

Felicity had no idea what was happening with her. She had never felt desire in her life. If this is what the desire looked like, just like in her favorite romances, she wanted to know more about it.

Tonight, Felicity was feeling things, she had never dreamt about. And this man was turning her legs into jello. She didn’t dare to blink because she didn’t want to miss something important or to break their eye game.

There was something hypnotizing by the way he was standing and the glass, he was holding. He looked relaxed and yet he was radiating so much tension. No one dared to approach him, to touch him, to talk to him. He was showing so much respect only with his body language and still, Felicity could notice the fear in the look of the people’s eyes who were around him.

He was standing, like he was owning this place. He was watching, like he was going to kill someone, if he dared to touch her. He was holding the glass, like he was ready to explode. He was something different. Something which Felicity had never seen in her entire life. Something which was making her heart beat faster and faster. He was a _night vision_. The most perfect and amazing vision, Felicity had ever encountered with. And she wanted to see the face of that man, _tonight_.

His eyes never left hers.

Her eyes never left his.

He was challenging her, without using his vocabulary language. He was making her crazy, without even moving. He was making her blood boiling in her veins, without touching her. He was a creature of the dark. The most amazing creature, she had ever seen.

The mysterious man lifted his glass, imitating a toast and Felicity was sure that she was going to explore inside. She knew, she had to do something but she couldn’t move. Her cheeks were so warm and red and her hands - shaking because she needed to touch him.

She was a mess. A mess, which he created. 

Two could play the game.

Felicity was about to tilt her head when a cold, rough hand touch her arm and the spell was broken. She was the first one who broke their eye contact and the moment she did it, her heart clenched. She turned her head and saw her father staring at her with a questioning expression. He wasn’t happy, hell she could say that he was furious at her. The hold on her arm tightened and he started to cause her pain. But she didn’t say anything. Instead, she choose to be brought back to the reality, where she really belonged. Here, in the Irish mob, with her despicable father.

Felicity gave him a shy smile. She tried to show him that everything is okay and he can let her go, but he didn’t. If her heart was beating faster before, right now it was ready to explode from her chest. Her father was too quiet and that was bothering Felicity the most. He was everything but never quiet. She knew that when they go home, he will punish her and that was scaring her.

‘’What are you staring at, Felicity?’’ her father asked with that icy voice.

‘’Nothing, I was just …’’

‘’You just what, _Felicity_?’’ her father interrupted her abruptly, tightening the hold of her arm even more. Felicity knew that tomorrow she was going to have a huge bruise because he was hurting her a lot. ‘’Tell me, what are you staring?’’

‘’The lights.’’ Lie. ‘’I… I was enjoying the lights. I’ve never seen so many beautiful lights in my life.’’ Felicity gulped. She was hoping that he was going to believe her lie and leave her for now.

Her father laughed. That evil laugh which was echoing in Felicity's ears and making her shiver every time, he was showing any emotions. She hated that laugh. She hated everything about him.

Daniel looked at the exact spot she was staring minutes ago and Felicity felt fear. What if the mysterious man was still there? What if her father and _her night vision_ made an eye contact? She was so, so screwed. Felicity’s breathing became harder. She was absolutely sure that this scene was going to cause her an anxiety attack. Her father was going to see him and then he was going to kill her.

Felicity was praying for something, anything to change her father’s decision but there was no sign from the universe. _Stupid universe._

Daniel’s moves stopped and she closed her eyes, waiting for her punishment. She was waiting and waiting any reaction but he did not say anything. Felicity was so frustrated and so tired already, that she wanted to sleep. Only to sleep in her bed, under her warm covers, alone, away from this world.

She followed her father’s gaze and her eyes landed on the spot which the mysterious man was occupying minutes ago, only to find that it was empty now.

Felicity felt a huge burden to fall from her shoulders.

_He was gone._

She knew that she will never see him again. She knew that he was just a person who entered and left her life just like that. But she was glad that she met him, because he made her feel things, which she never knew that she will ever feel with anyone.

He was a _night vision_ , who find her in the dark.

‘’We should go. They were expecting us.’’ Daniel said. He nodded to his men to follow them behind and Felicity slowly left the upper part of _Cinema_.

The place was getting darker and darker, the music quieter and quieter, and Felicity’s heart was clenching with every minute with the thought that she was going to meet all mobsters.

She was only praying to get out of this place _alive_.

* * *

Death. That was the perfect word to describe this place.

The corridor was semi-dark. The walls were made of some kind of rusty metal. Felicity could swear that 100 meters behind her, she saw fresh drops of blood on the ground. Was someone hurt? Or probably already dead?

Felicity was shivering. The whole place was so cold. She could feel a thin breeze, touching her bare legs and she decided to hug herself. To protect herself from that scary view. She had no idea what she was doing here. This place was haunted. Haunted with the hundreds or maybe with the thousands of people who lost their lives in this bloody corridor. She was sure that if these walls could speak, they would tell many monstrous stories.

Her heels were clicking on the ground and the sound of them was echoing over and over and over again. She was almost sure that on a half of her walk, she heard whispers. Her imagination was going so wild that she started to lose the thin line between the reality and fiction. In every moment, Felicity was expecting someone to show up and grab her with him in the dark and do bad things with her. She wasn’t terrified. She was losing her mind.

Felicity lifted her head to check the ceiling and a bat flew near her. She started yelling and moving her hands, to cover her face.

What amazed her the most were her father and his men. They couldn’t stop laughing on her reaction and imitating her moves.

They had no idea how much Felicity wanted to pull the dagger from her clutch bag and stab them all right now. She hated them with her everything. This wasn’t _a father_. This was a man who was ruining everything he touched. This was a man who deserved to rot in a freaking cell buried seven feet down under the ground. This man deserved the worst. He deserved to burn for his sins.

Felicity never dared to look at them. She kept walking with confidence and showed them that tonight she was stronger than the girl they thought they knew. Tonight Felicity Smoak was a fighter.

Tonight she was protecting herself _alone_.

A loud cracking sound caught her attention. Before she managed to say anything, a very bright light caused her to cover her eyes and stop on her tracks. But two strong arms touched her and dragged her into the light without her permission.

‘’Let me go!’’ Felicity was crying. She tried to fight the enormous man, scratching his face with her nails, hitting his hard chest with her tiny fists, kicking him with her legs, but he didn’t move. He was dragging her further and further into the bright light. ‘’I said let me go!’’ Felicity kept hitting. She could already feel the exhaustion but she kept fighting. She promised that she will not give up no matter what.

 _The dagger._ All she had to do was to pull the dagger and stab the man who dared to touch her like that.

‘’Stop it! It hurts!’’ her eyes watered, her lungs started to burn, her vision was becoming blurry.

She knew that tomorrow her whole body was going to be covered with bruises and being greeted with a new wave of panic attacks. Felicity was going to need lots of white pills tonight and probably to cry her eyes till she faints of exhaustion.

 _If_ she managed to survive the night.

Where the hell was that damn dagger?

‘’Smoak, let her go.’’ A deep husky voice interrupted the scene.

No matter who was, no matter where he was standing, no matter what he was doing, Felicity’s father refused to let go. _Her father_. Of course it was her father. Who else it could be? She bet that his face is red and sore because of her and she felt proud. He tightened his grip harder and Felicity cried again.

‘’I said, LET. HER. GO.’’ the man who was standing there groaned. She heard the sound of his loaded gun. Felicity’s father slowly lost the hold over her. Just when she thought that for now everything was over, he grabbed her again and abruptly threw her on the cold stealing floor.

Felicity’s hands landed in front of a pair of very expensive black shoes. She could swear that she could see her reflection on them. Whoever the man was in front her, Felicity still had a reason to be afraid.

She had no idea where she was. She had no idea who these people were.

What was this place?

Who dared to cause fear in Daniel Smoak’s eyes to let his daughter go, without hitting her? Who was this man who just saved her from the claws of her father? Who was he?

Felicity didn’t dare to lift her head. She was shaking so bad, that she was sure that she was going to start to suffocate. The tears were falling like a torrential. Her glasses were nowhere to be found. Her vision was so blurry that she barely managed to see her own hands. She was a mess. She was humiliated again. She felt _cheap. Used. Ugly. Dirty._ _Weak._ And _dead_ inside. This wasn’t a normal life. This was a pure surviving. She was drowning in ocean of her haunting memories. This was her hell. Her hellish desert island full with violence, hate, loneliness, blood and empty promises. This was Felicity’s life.

A hand softly touched her shoulder.

She trembled.

The hand was burning her skin, setting her on fire.

She covered her ears.

The radiating warmth of the hand never left her body.

She cried.

The hand pulled her up. Slowly. Carefully. Almost gently.

She started to fight. These touches were foreign for her. Nobody ever tried to be gentle with her.

The hand softly touched her head and pulled her closer to a very warm chest.

Felicity was so tired that she didn’t try to get away. _She gave up._

She was surrounded by a mix of musky sent and leather. She could hear the heartbeats of the man who was holding her. And somehow this felt like _home_.

‘’Shhh. You’re okay. You’re safe. You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.’’ The man was whispering these words in her ear over and over and over again. His voice was so calming and Felicity managed to calm down and normalize her breathing.

Eventually she put her arms around his waist and let herself cry like she had never cried before.

‘’Everything is going to be okay. You’re safe.’’

Felicity didn’t have the power to speak so she just nodded.

‘’Leave her Queen. _NOW_!’’ Daniel yelled which brought Felicity back to reality. He somehow reached for his daughter and pulled her from the man’s embrace the moment she thought she felt safe.

Daniel threw her like a piece of meat to his bodyguards and they caught her weak body. He stepped in front of Felicity with a pointed gun to the man who just saved her life.

Felicity closed her eyes because she knew what was next. Her father was going to kill _him_. She didn’t have the courage or the need to watch this monstrous thing _again_ because if she dared to open her blue orbs, another nightmare was going to hunt her in her sleep. Another brutal story was going to chase her till she was alive. Another life was going to be taken because of her. No, she was not going to watch it.

‘’If you or any of your precious Bratva people, ever dare to touch _my Princess_ again, I’m gonna kill you all.’’

The room felt in complete silence but still it was filled with so much tension and hatred. The atmosphere changed for seconds. Felicity tried to adjust herself from the position Dumber One and Dumber Two were holding her, but she felt eyes on her again.

‘’Stay still, little bitch.’’ Stefan groaned and slapped Felicity so hard that she was sure that she saw the stars. Her cheek started to throb and hurt so bad that she was sure that tomorrow it was going to be swollen.

‘’Hey! Who the hell gave you the right to hit her?’’ Felicity’s savior asked. She knew that something changed. Something in _him_ changed the moment Daniel said the word _Princess_. The man’s voice became deeper, more dangerous and caused Felicity to shiver. If he was gentle with her before, now he was rough and dangerous.

She didn’t know him. She didn’t know him at all, but still, she could swear that something shifted inside him. Something darker. Something unknown for her. And somehow, that bothered her.

‘’I, Daniel Smoak, the leader to the Irish mob and a _father_ to that little _Princess_. Do you have any problem with me Captain Oliver Queen?’’

Silence.

 _He_ never said anything again.

The moment Daniel said _daughter,_ she lost _him_. _He_ took her eyes off her. _He_ broke his eye contact and never dared to look at her again.

 _He_ made a step back.

 _He_ just her to the wolves.

_He left her in her hell._

The warmth of his hand died the moment he took the decision to let her go. He was just like them. _A traitor._ Felicity felt so stupid for trusting him and his lame promises that everything was going to be alright. Because it wasn’t. She wasn’t alright.

The silence was an indicator that _the enemy_   was done speaking. Daniel smirked ‘’That’s what I thought. We are done with the meeting. C’mon Felicity we are going home.’’

Stefan and Randy (Dumber Two’s name) dragged Felicity out of the room, immediately followed with her father. She didn’t have the power to move or to do something, she didn’t have the mood to look at the corridor’s walls again because now, she became one of the people who had already died in here. Her heart died again. Her soul was taken. Her pride was taken. Her confidence was taken. She was left with _nothing._

The last thing Felicity Smoak did before she left _Cinema_ tonight was to look _the traitor_ in the eyes. The blue, blue eyes which were going to hunt her dreams and days over and over again. The warmth of the arms which were going to become her missing part of the day. The name which was going to become her worst night mare. The man who was going to change her from the moment _he dared_ to lie those ocean blue orbs on her.

Yeah, before she left, she looked at him and a dagger stabbed her heart. The blood in her veins was boiling from anger, relief, fury and wonder. She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know why the universe was always laughing in her face.

She wished she never looked him in the eyes. She wished she never turn her face in the stupid VIP zone and play those mind games with him. She wished she managed to escape the damn club the moment she felt his eyes on her. She wished …

She knew exactly who he was. She dared to call him with many names tonight but only one suited him the best.

 _The enemy_.

_The Bratva Captain himself - Oliver Queen …_


	4. To take the pain away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, i'm very sorry for the whole waiting but school started and it's my last year and my schedule is very busy. i hope that you will understand me (:. I will try to upload my story as often as i can because i'm super excited for the future of it! This chapter is veeery long, LOTS of things happen and please don't hate me when you reach the end :D  
> Again i want to warn you for lots of violent scenes and if you don't feel comfortable with reading them, skip them or skip the chapter. ;)  
> The Russian words and sentences slowly make their way to this story and at the end of the chapter you can find what their meanings are!  
> I hope that you will like it and have fun! See ya next time!  
> Happy reading ♥

Felicity was lying in her bed completely numb. Unable to blink. Unable to think. Unable to feel.

She was staring at the ceiling feeling _ashamed, dirty_ and _used_ because she didn’t know what to do anymore. No matter how many times she tried to wash the feeling of Daniel’s dirty hands on her skin, under the hot shower, it never disappeared. No matter how many pills she took that night, the panic attacks and the nightmares did not end.

She was _paralyzed_. She was so lost that she had no idea how dead she felt inside. The ache in her heart was the only indicator proving that she was still a human, _a human with feelings_. Nobody knew what was happening in her little destroyed world. She was bleeding, screaming, drowning, burning with pain but no one could hear her and save her from that miserable life. Felicity was living in silence, while her mind and heart were leading a riot and she had no idea which was going to win the battle at the end.

Tonight, she realized that she meant nothing to the world. Nothing, to her father. Nothing, to the mob. _Nothing, to Oliver Queen._

She hated herself. She hated the way she was feeling. She hated the pain. She hated the loneliness. She hated the persona they created instead of her. She hated _Felicity Meghan Smoak_.

She was _a puppet_ \- in her father’s hands. She was _a pretty face_ \- in the mob’s world. She was _a toy_ in Oliver Queen’s dirty head. She was _off limits_ in her future husband’s orders. Everyone owned her by something. Everyone were taking something from her every single day. Everyone, except _Felicity_.

She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t _live_ like that. Not anymore.

She was a walking ghost in this house, searching for its peace, trying to be realized and be finally happy.  But her attempts were always in vain because she was going to be trapped here to rest of her days.

Felicity wanted to forget about that night, about how humiliated she felt, about the whole pain in her body, about how alone she was and the most important thing – Oliver Queen’s face.

She hated him. She couldn’t believe that he tried to save her from her father’s claws and then he just let her go. She was absolutely insane to trust him and actually feel comfortable in his embrace, in front of her father’s eyes and who knew who else. She was completely insane to dare to watch him in the eyes, in Cinema and actually to be thrilled by him. She had no idea what was going on in her head because he managed to create a mess there. And yet, she couldn’t deny that there was something different in him, compared to the men she had the chance to see during her life. He was radiating something unknown to Felicity and still, she wanted to know what was it. He was confident, too calm for her senses but she had that strange feeling inside, telling her to be careful. There was something about him. Felicity didn’t know what was it, but she wanted to find more about it.

She couldn’t trust Oliver Queen, she couldn’t trust no one in this world. Felicity was wrong about him – he wasn’t a _night vision_. He was a traitor. _A monster,_ pretending to be a savior. He was just like them. He was a filthy mobster who wanted to have Daniel Smoak’s ‘’precious’’ _Princess_ and that was it. Yes, he may have that predatory blue eyes which could charm every second woman in this city, but Felicity wasn’t going to fell under his spell. No, she was going to stay as far as possible from him because every monster does monstrous things. And he was the monster who betrayed her, giving her back to her father. Felicity swore that sooner or later, Oliver Queen will pay the price for his actions tonight. And she was going to walk from this war like a winner.

Felicity opened the night stand near her bed and took the little bottle with the pills. She knew that she was going to need more of them to survive the rest of the night. She already managed to calm down after two waves of panic attacks but a new one was coming very soon.   

Her head was killing her since she got home, so she made a mental note to search for painkillers as well but she couldn’t find them. Felicity slowly got up from her bed because her body was very sore and it was still fighting from the consequences in _Cinema_. Her bare feet touched the cold floor and she shivered.

It was strange for a person to get cold during the summer but Felicity was used to it since she was a kid, caused by some dark memories with her father. Only the thought of Daniel, made her tremble even more.

No. She shook her head. She was not going to think about him or anyone else. Not tonight. Tonight she was going to think only about herself and how to stay sane after everything. She put her arms around herself, hugging herself, shielding herself from this house and slowly approached the bathroom.

Felicity knew that she always kept painkillers there just in case if something happened, so she was sure that everything was going to be okay. She reached for the little cabinet in front of her and opened it but she was met with only empty orange bottles. She needed them, because these pills were literally keeping her alive. Felicity was absolutely sure that the whole house was full with painkillers but she never dared to take some of them. Her father always said that they were only for his men and they could take them, when they were hurt but Felicity – never.

She closed the cabinet and the moment she did it, she felt bad for that decision. Felicity felt sick. She had no idea who was that woman in the mirror’s reflection. She couldn’t recognize herself anymore. This wasn’t her. She had never looked that terrible in her life. Her face was as white as a sheet. A deep dark circles were adorned her ocean blue eyes. Her lips looked so puffy and red from the amount of times she bit them, to stop the pain from the attacks. Her arms were bruised and every little move caused her to flinch and to remind her of what monster her father was. Felicity could see the deep blue traces of his hands on her silky skin. She wanted to scream, to break, to cry, but she was left with nothing. Only the silence was shushing what she was feeling inside.

_Only the silence …_

She was trembling so bad because her world was falling apart in front of her eyes. There was _no_ Felicity Smoak. There were only ruins left of her persona. Only little pieces of her existence which reminded her of only pain and nothing more.

Felicity put her hands on the edges of the sink and remove her gaze from the mirror. She was disgusted by herself and what she was seeing in the reflection. She was losing her mind. She couldn’t even control her own body. That’s how bad she was. She couldn’t command her own freaking body for God’s sake. And whose was this fault? _Her father._ This awful, despicable man who was daring to call himself a father. He was nothing than a coward, dressed in expensive suits and wearing proudly that disgusting scar around his neck.

Felicity shut her eyes because the thought of Daniel made her even sicker. Her hands were shaking so bad. She was sure that very soon, she will find herself on the floor because that panic attack was consuming every fiber from her weak body. The anxiety was taking her last strength and Felicity prayed for this to be already over. Her breathing became more erratic. She was suffocating. Her heart was beating faster and faster and faster and she was absolutely sure that soon it was going to explode from her chest. She almost couldn’t see properly anymore because her vision was so blurry from the unleashed tears in her eyes. This was Felicity Smoak. This was _The_ Felicity Smoak that the world has no idea that existed. That was their _Princess_ – one big nothing.

She freed her hands and covered her ears, trying to take the pain from her head, trying to shush her surroundings because everything around her hurt. The voices in her head kept talking and talking and talking. They were telling her how bad person she was to not obey to his father’s demands, how awful mob daughter she was, that she was the reason why her mother was dead and she had to be the one who was buried under the ground, instead of Donna.

‘’Stop it!’’ Felicity yelled. The pain in her head was unbearable. The voices became lauder and more demanding.

 _‘’Take the pain away, Felicity.’’_ The voices kept repeating and repeating it in her head _. ‘’Take the pain away, Felicity.’’_

‘’I said, stop it!’’ Felicity fell on her knees, drowning in her own miserable hell. She couldn’t take this anymore. Her chest felt so heavy, that she was coughing. The need for air, the need to breathe were stronger. Felicity didn’t have the power to crawl back to her bedroom and reach for her pills. She just wanted to take the pain away.

_‘’Take the pain away, Felicity.’’_

She felt hot. _Too hot_. Her skin was itching and becoming warmer. Felicity grabbed her T-shirt and tried to take it off but she couldn’t. Little droplets of sweat covered her pale face, making her feel even more terrible.

‘’I have to take the pain away.’’ Felicity whispered, trying to convince herself. ‘’I have to take the pain away.’’ She kept repeating it like a mantra.

Her gaze fell on _the razor_. And that was it.

Felicity couldn’t remember the last time she dared to use it. But all she remembered was it was taking every pain, every broken promise, every ugly word, _away_. And that was exactly what she wanted right now. To stop that feeling. She needed an anchor and her only anchor during those years wasn’t her mother or the memory of her red, red lips, it was the razor. That was the only thing which was keeping her sane and still alive. It was her end and her beginning. It was her worst nightmare and her savior during her darkest times.

She never dared to move her eyes. Hell, she didn’t try to blink. Her blank expression was focused only on that little item which was going to help her _. To save her._

‘’I have to take the pain.’’ She mumbled and started to shake more and more with every minute.

Felicity knew that sooner or later she was going to pass out of the whole adrenaline but till she was still awake, she swore that she was going to fight.

She took the razor and kept staring at it. Her hands were shaking so bad, that she almost dropped it on the floor.

Felicity clenched her right hand into a fist, like her life depended on that silver metal. A thin crimson line traced her silky skin and kept tingling her senses with the best feeling in the world.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head on the wall.

The blood kept falling.

Little drops were adorning the floor, painting everything in red.

‘’… to take the pain away’’ Felicity whispered and reached her left arm.

The razor touched her skin.

‘’I have …’’

She looked at the ceiling, while the tears were failing like a waterfall.

‘’ … to take.’’

Her skin started to sting.

‘’ … the pain.’’

She traced the razor on her wrist.

A bloody line appeared near the old scars she was keeping away from the mob.

‘’ … away.’’

Felicity hit her head in the wall and threw the metal thing on the floor.

Her pulse started to normalize. The need for air wasn’t a necessity anymore. The heavy feeling in her chest stared to disappear. And Felicity felt human again.

She didn’t even dare to look at the mess she created. She didn’t try to think about the pain in her hands. She got up from the floor and entered her room.

Felicity was greeted with silence and complete dark. She had to get out of here. She needed to breathe. She needed to go out and clean her mind.

Felicity went to her night stand and took the bracelets she kept there and put them where they always belonged – to cover the traces of her fallouts. The blood on her right hand kept falling and falling on the wooden floor but she didn’t care. She had to get out of this mansion and that was exactly what she was going to do.

She grabbed the first sweatshirt from her closet, put the bottle with pills in her pocket and got out of the room.

In the corridor, Felicity could only see darkness. It was too quiet and the air was filled with so much tension and rage. Felicity shivered again because she hated to walk alone in this house, especially in that part of the night. She wouldn’t deny that she was scared. Everything reminded her of that particular night when her father killed that man in front of her eyes and all walls were painted in red. A flashback brought her to that day. She still could feel the warm blood on her hands. She still could remember the way, Daniel made her kneel and clean everything. She still could remember the man’s lifeless eyes, starring at her, begging her, waiting for something.

Today, she finally realized what he was pleading for. The man wanted to be freed. He wanted to find peace away from this cruel world and the moment the cold blade touched his skin, he knew that he was free from the burdens he used to carry during his years of work for the Irish mob.

Yeah, Felicity finally knew, what that man wanted and it was the same she wanted for herself – _freedom._

A freedom, which she was never going to have. Her mind and body were trapped inside this mansion and those walls were her blank expression. That was her reality. It was _lonely_ , yeah it was lonely inside this mansion …

Felicity slowly went downstairs, keeping quiet as much as possible because even a little crack was going to make the whole house insane.

Felicity looked around to make sure that there was no one to be found and headed to the kitchen. She knew that her father wasn’t here tonight. Felicity could bet that he was spending his time with his new mistress and that’s why most of the guards were out. To keep the Godfather _save_ , while he was fucking the new bitch of the week.

For the first time, Felicity was glad that he was not here. Actually she was thankful because she was going to escape easily just like in the old times.

She approached the kitchen and turned around again. She was too scared. She was praying that no one heard her and followed her here. But so far everything was quiet _. It was too quiet_. Felicity knew that something bad was coming.

She hugged herself, trying to shield herself from everything and everyone. She was one versus all. One versus the mafia. Felicity had to get out as soon as possible before it was too late. _To breathe_.

Her hand touched the door knob and a little click filled the dead silence in the whole house. _That was it_. That was the signal to wake up the whole house. That was the sign, showing that something was wrong. That someone was doing something against the mob’s codecs. Felicity already knew that they were coming for her. The doors started to open. Steps were coming from upstairs. She could hear orders from everywhere. The guns were already loaded, waiting to be used. They were coming.

It was now or never. It was the perfect moment for Felicity to escape from the guards. She took a deep breath and opened the door. She was greeted by the summer wind and the fresh smell of the grass. That was _the life_. That was the feeling to be free.

Outside was her freedom and inside was her prison. She had to make the choice now. She could stay inside, saying a lame lie to Stefan and going back to her dark, bloody room where she managed to create her own little world. Or she could go outside, being normal for couple of hours, where nobody knew who she was and what she was doing.

‘’Who is there?’’ Dumber One’s voice echoed somewhere in the distance.

Stefan startled Felicity and her wild heart was going to explode in her chest. She had two options. To stay here or to leave.

‘’Whoever you are, you are going to die.’’ Randy yelled. She knew that he was near the kitchen because his room was on the first floor and he was going to be here soon.

There was no choice to make. Felicity knew what she wanted.

This time, she didn’t turn her head. Her whole attention was focused on her surroundings outside. _To her freedom_. Felicity didn’t think twice. She stepped closer and closed the door behind her.

A little smile adorned Felicity’s face.

And she disappeared in the night …

* * *

 

Felicity had no idea how long she kept walking on the dusty road. Her steps were echoing and then disappearing into the night. The warm summer breeze kept touching her pale cheeks, making her feel free like the wind. The sound of the ocean was coming somewhere in the distance and the seagulls kept singing their predatory song, waiting to catch their next prey. That was Starling City during the night – it was calm and yet - unpredictable. You never knew what to expect because everything could happen.

Felicity was born here, but she never dared to call this city her home because she didn’t feel it like a place where she was feeling protected and cherished. No, it was the complete opposite. Here she was scared for her life. Here she was alone with no _friends_ , with no _love_ , with no _family_ , all by herself. She was а soldier on her own. Every normal person could say that Starling City was a place where you can succeed, where you can become whatever you want and live your dreams, but actually nobody knew what the reality was.

This city was a corrupt and cruel place. It was taking your life, it was consuming you, making you want more and more, making you greedy for power and then everything you think you have, was disappearing in front of your eyes, leaving you miserable and unhappy.

Starling was ruining everyone’s life. Once, you cross the sign _‘Welcome to Starling City’_ , there is no turning back. No one leaves this city. No one leaves it happy. No one leaves it _alive_. You carry the burden of your failures on your shoulders and keep quiet till you can’t take it anymore and give up everything. This city will eat you alive if you even try to open your mouth and say the wrong words.

This wasn’t Felicity’s home. This was her _battlefield_.

Couple of cars passed by her, making her shiver because she was scared. Every time she was hearing the sound of the engine behind her, she was sure that her father’s men were here and they were going to bring her back in that asylum called a house. Felicity was sure that Stefan and Randy had already found out that _The Princess_ was nowhere to be found. Of course Daniel Smoak already knew that her _precious treasure_ was missing and she could bet that he was furious. Felicity didn’t even want to think what he was going to do to her the moment she stepped inside the mansion.

 She knew that she didn’t have much time. She knew that her freedom will last couple of hours and then she will have to accept the consequences of her bad choices. But damn, Felicity knew that those couple of hours were the most precious time of her life. She was finally breathing and the ache in her heart was more bearable than ever. She was sick of the lack of love, she was sick of the lack of touch, she was sick of the lack of freedom.

No matter how much Felicity was trying, she knew that she was never going to be a normal girl with extraordinary dreams. No matter how many times she was trying to show her perfect face in front of the elite of Starling every single night, she was always going to be the broken doll, her father created with his bare handс.

Right now, at this very moment she didn’t have to wear those fancy dresses, to talk polite, to put her fake smiles and to pretend to be someone who she wasn’t. No, that was another woman. That was their beloved _Princess_. That was the girl who they turned into something she couldn’t recognize in the mirror. Felicity hated that girl. She despised that pretty façade which wasn’t her.

Yeah, tonight was the night when she didn’t have to laugh to Mr. Jonson’s stupid jokes about money, she didn’t have to talk about weddings with Miss Perry and she definitely didn’t have to look at her father’s predatory face. Tonight, she was just Felicity, the girl from the big city, who wanted to go for a walk outside and enjoy the perfect summer night.

Felicity was so lost in her thoughts, that she never noticed the blue car which stopped a few steps away from her. She never heard the sound of the opening doors. She never heard the unknown steps. She never felt someone else’s presence behind her. A _man’s_ presence.

Two strong rough hands grabbed her from behind and Felicity lost it. No, no, no they had found her. They had found her and they were going to kill her this time. Her father wasn’t going to spare her life this time. He was going to torture her till she was begging for her death and kill her, like he was doing it with the traitors in the mob.

The grip around her arms were so tight that Felicity cried in pain. The places where the man was holding her were the same places where her father left her with bruises that night and they hurt like hell. If she was suffering now, she knew that later in the dark basement, they were going to do very bad things with her.

Felicity could feel his lips on her neck. His hot breath was touching her silky skin, making her shiver. She felt sick. Her insides were starting a riot. Felicity was disgusted and wanted to vomit.

She tried to fight and set free from the man’s hands but instead, the grip tightened even more. Felicity knew that there was no escape from his claws. There was no one who was going to help her and she was sure as hell that this was only the beginning. She had no idea what the man’s dirty thoughts were but she knew that he wasn’t the good guy in this story. He was on a hunt in the middle of the night looking for fresh blood. He was the predator and she was the prey.

Felicity tried to push him away but instead, her back hit the man’s hard front and she froze. Yes, he was stronger than her. Yes, he was taller than her. Yes, he was going to take advantage of her. But Felicity wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

 ‘’Why a pretty girl like you, is all alone in the middle of the night?’’ the man whispered in her ear, making her sicker.

Felicity’s heart was racing and the blood in her veins was pumping. She was sure that this was one of her father’s man but the reality hit her hard. This wasn’t Randy or Stefan’s voice. This was a voice of a complete stranger who was going to hurt her and no one was going to know about it.

‘’Let me go!’’ Felicity yelled.

She pushed hard but the man didn’t even flinch. His right hand started to slip down. Felicity’s chest clenched because she knew what was going next. The stranger’s hand traveled around her waist, holding her closer to him.

‘’And why I should do that, princess?’’ his lips touched her neck, breathing her, feeling her in his arms. The animal in him was cheering because he had caught his prey and tonight he was going to celebrate with it.

‘’Because you are messing with the wrong woman.’’ Felicity answered with cold voice. Her breathing became erratically. She knew that the next wave of panic attacks was close. But she had to bury this feeling deep down inside because right now she needed to feel powerful more than ever. She didn’t have to show her weak self. She had to put that façade she created in front of the society and show the man that she was stronger.  

Felicity was in the middle of the battlefield and she was going to fight.

The man opened his month again and instead of saying something he started to laughing. He surprised her and caught her of guard. The sound of his laugh reminded her so much of her father’s one and she wanted to hit the stranger in the face.

No matter where Felicity was and with whom she was, every sound, every move, every face expression, every touch was going to remind her of Daniel Smoak.

‘’Tsk, tsk, tsk. _Princess,_ I know exactly with whom I am messing around. You are a little girl who had lost in the middle of the night and who seeks someone to help her to find the right way back.’’ The man’s nose touched her cheek, inhaling her sent. Like the animal was smelling its prey. ‘’And it happened that I’m the one who is going to show you the right way and you are going to like it, _princess_.’’ He mumbled causing Felicity to tremble in his rough hands.

‘’Let me go, you bastard!’’ Felicity cried. ‘’Don’t you dare touch me with those dirty hands! Let me go!’’ Felicity hit him harder and the grip around her finally wasn’t that tight as it was before. This was her chance to escape. She stepped on his right foot _hard_ and the man cried in pain. He lost the hold over her and Felicity run for her life.

She didn’t turn back. But she could hear his heavy steps behind her. The man was coming for her and he was fast. No matter how much pain Felicity caused him, he was still faster than her and he was going to catch her soon. Just like the predator was hunting its prey in the middle of the night. Just like the animal was loving the thrill of the rush.

Felicity’s blood was rushing in her veins. Hundreds of emotions were dancing in her head. She was angry, scared, furious, numb and helpless because he was going to catch her.

‘’Come on _princess_ , come back to me! You know, you can’t escape from me!’’ she heard his voice in the distance. With each step he was coming closer and closer and Felicity couldn’t find the urge to escape. She was feeling weaker, her whole body was aching in pain and her lungs were burning. Why all the bad things were happening to her? Why she couldn’t have just one damn night away from the troubles?

Felicity was running slower and slower and the stranger’s steps were coming nearer and nearer.

She couldn’t breathe anymore. Felicity shut her eyes for a moment to calm her heart and to stay sane because right now she needed her all powers to stay away from the man as much as she could. Her legs couldn’t hold her anymore. Her body was giving up on her. For the first time since she was out of the mansion she finally felt the sharp pain in her right hand caused by the razor. Everything was hitting her so hard that she couldn’t handle the feeling anymore. Felicity knew that she was not going to escape. She knew that this animal was going to catch her and everything will be over. No matter how much she tried to stop the tears, they fell down with a huge force. She was burning with anger because she was breaking her promise to fight for her life. She was furious because she couldn’t protect better herself and now she was going to suffer.

A rough hand pulled Felicity back and she almost fell on the ground.

‘’No!’’ she yelled. ‘’No!’’

‘’Don’t you dare run away from me bitch! You can’t run away from me! Do you understand? You, can’t away from me!’’ the man shouted in her face.

‘’No, no, no, no’’ Felicity was repeating it like a mantra. She pulled her arm, trying to free herself but instead she hit the man’s chest. He was stronger and faster than her, just like the predator was better physically than it prey. Felicity was a caged animal who needed to escape from its cell. The sinister laugh of the stranger was echoing in her head, making her sick. She wished she didn’t leave the stupid mansion. She wished she choose to stay in her cold room, living with her pain than being here in the middle of the night into this monster’s claws.

He started kissing her on her neck again, holding her in place. Felicity started to push away but the man didn’t even move. She yelled but no one could hear her in the middle of the road.

‘’Let me go!’’ Felicity shouted but the man roughly kept kissing her on her neck.

She felt lost. No one was going to help her. She was all alone, just like she was all alone during her whole life.

The man’s hands were tracing her whole body. She was feeling helpless because she couldn’t do anything to stop him. She could watch and pray silently everything to be a bad dream from which she was going to wake up soon. She wished …

But everything was real – his rough kisses on her neck, his hands covering her small body, his erratic breathing on her skin and his sinister thoughts in his sick head.

‘’You are mine sweetheart, all night.’’ He whispered in her ear and then kept tracing wet kisses on her cheeks.

Felicity was disgusted. She wanted to take his filthy hands away from her. His touches were toxic. He was toxic. Everything about that person was toxic. He was a hunter who completely finished his mission. And that mission was Felicity.

‘’No! I said let me go! Stop it!’’ she tried to fight again and again and again but she was caged in the dark.

‘’Mine.’’

‘’No!’’ his face was few inches away from her. He was going to kiss her. He was going to steal her first kiss, not on her terms, _on his_ freaking terms. ‘’Let me –‘’

Felicity couldn’t have the chance to finish her sentence because a loud shot from a gun echoed in the distance and startled the hell out of her. If she was scared, now she was terrified for her life. She froze on her tracks. She couldn’t move anymore. She didn’t care about the man who was holding her because she was not alone anymore. There was someone somewhere in the middle of the night, on the same dusty road, who was holding a gun and watching the scene which Felicity and the stranger were playing.

Out of nowhere the panic attack hit her senses and the need to breathe became a necessity again but this time, she didn’t have the razor in her hands, the man who was holding her was preventing her every move and she couldn’t reach the pocket of her sweatshirt to pull the bottle with pills out. She was trapped in her own miserable hell. Her legs couldn’t hold her anymore. Her hands were shaking. Her lungs were burning. Her heart was racing. Her blood was boiling. Her vision was blurry.

‘’To take the pain away, to take the pain away, to take the pain away.’’ Felicity kept whispering the same sentence over and over again because the voices were coming back. She managed to keep them away for a while but they were coming back and they were furious at her because _she couldn’t take the pain away._

Felicity was so concentrate in her own little world that she didn’t even felt how the man’s _lifeless_ body was slowly falling on the cold ground in front of her watery eyes. She didn’t notice that he wasn’t kissing her neck anymore or touching her waist, or whispering in her ear, or making her shiver with every little move. No, she didn’t.

Her small trembling hands were covered with deep red blood which Felicity couldn’t see in the dark and sooner or later it was going to bring old memories back to life. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She was aching. She was suffocating. Everything looked too surreal for her.

Felicity’s body finally gave up on her and she fell on the ground screaming on the top of her lungs from the pain in her heart because no one was loving her or carrying for her. She was sick of the lack of love in her life and sick of the way everyone was using her. She was a static screen which no one could see, she was a white noise which no one could hear, she was ghost walking among the alive people. She screamed again and again and again because she was agonizing from her life. She wanted to die so bad, she wanted to be free just like the wind which was touching her skin, she wanted to find peace and be happy. She wanted …

Two strong arms caught Felicity’s weak body and she thought that the hell was repeating again and the strange man will finish what he started.

 ‘’No, no, no.’’ she whispered, shaking her head and trying to get away from the man’s touch.

The panic attack was one of the worst Felicity had ever had. Her insides were burning. Her skin was itching, burning and making her blood boiling like the water. She put her hand on her chest because she couldn’t breathe from pain. She needed her pills but she couldn’t reach them. She needed her razor but she didn’t take it with her. She needed an anchor but she had nothing. Only the cold gravel under her hands was reminding her that there was something she could hold on and not let go.

‘’To take the pain away, to take the pain away, to take the pain away.’’ She kept repeating again and again. The voices in her head were the only ones which were understanding her and talking to her.

The two strong hands pulled her closer and closer and closer till she hit a very hard chest.

‘’Don’t touch me. Let me go!’’ Felicity started to fight but she was powerless, the panic attack was consuming her energy for life.

‘’It’s over, everything is over. He won’t touch you ever again.’’ The man whispered in her hair, holding her closer, shielding her from the dead body.

‘’No, let me go, you will hurt me just like he did, just like everyone do in my life.’’ Felicity pulled away from her savior. ‘’Please, don’t touch me.’’ She was pleading but the man never let go, instead he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in his lap.

‘’Just listen to my heartbeat. Listen to my heartbeat, птичка.’’

‘’I … I … can’t … breathe … I-‘’

His warm hand touched her cheek and the grip he had over Felicity’s body tightened.

‘’I … I … I have to take the pain away.’’ Felicity said. ‘’Yes, I have to take the pain away.’’ The voices kept repeating. She was always doing what the voices in her head was telling her to do. She always followed their rules because they were the only one who were understanding her.

‘’You don’t have to take the pain away.’’ The man said calmly, making her stop reaping her mantra. In that moment everything changed. They disappeared. The voices just disappeared and that scared her the most because no one has ever had such a big influence in her life even for couple of minutes. No one ever dared to tell her that sentence in the eyes. No one, except _this man_. Everyone was telling her how useless she was, how stupid she was, that she worth nothing, that it would be better if she was dead instead of her mother, everyone, until this very moment. Until this man said those words.

Felicity stopped fighting. She didn’t try to run away from her savior’s embrace because for the first time in her life someone actually was caring about what she was feeling. And this was new for her but damn it warmed her inside, in spite of everything.

‘’Breathe with me, breathe with me.’’ He was pleading. ‘’Just stay with me. Don’t take the pain away.’’

Felicity could hear the man’s heart. The sound was so calming, so pure, so perfect. It was the sweetest sound. She had never heard a better sound like his beating heart. It was music for her ears.

‘’In and out. Yeah, just like that. In and out.’’ He kept repeating, rocking her back and forth like a child. ‘’Everything will be alright, птичка.’’

Felicity eventually started to calm down. She didn’t realize the moment when she wrapped her arms around the man’s torso, holding him for the dear life, but all she knew was that he managed to anchor her. He managed to take the voices away. He saved her from the bad man and she was owning him her life. He _didn’t_ let go, just like everyone did in her life. He just stayed here, shielding her with his arms away from the cruel world and it felt so good.

She slowly removed her head because she wanted to see the face of the man who saved her tonight. She wanted to put a face on the person who managed to stop her panic attack. She wanted, no she needed to look him in the eyes and thank him for everything he did for her. He wasn’t just her savior, he was her _guardian angel_.

Felicity put her chin on his chest and her eyes met his. She froze. This couldn’t happen to her. This was some kind of a joke. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t freaking fair. Felicity didn’t know what to think or to do. The destiny was playing this cruel game for the second time tonight.

Yet, she couldn’t take her eyes from him because there was something in those eyes. She couldn’t move because there was something calming to be in his arms. She couldn’t blink because she was sure that he will disappear. She was hypnotized by his spell.

She hated him. She despised him. She couldn’t stand him. She didn’t want to think about him after **Cinema** and yet, she couldn’t move away from him.

One single word escaped her lips. One word _,_ which made her heart skip a beat. _One word._

‘’Oliver.’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • птичка - bird  
> Let me know what do you think? Kudos and comments feed the muse!  
> .............................  
> Come and chat with me here ♥  
> twitter: @roozaliin  
> tumblr: foreverxyoungxwildxfree  
> youtube: roozaliin


	5. A little note.

Hey guys! How are you? I hope you are all great!  
Since, I mentioned couple of times that this is my last year in high school and the updates with my story will take lots of time before being posted here, I want to apologize for the whole waiting and thank you for your patience. BUT the good news is that I finally found some free time and I think that I will manage to finish my next chapter pretty soon.   
So my question for all of you is - are you ready for more dark Bratva adventures? 

_xoxo_

**\- Lina**


	6. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm alive!!! I missed you guys soooo much!! You have no idea how happy I am to upload finally another chapter!!! I really hope that you will have fun and enjoy it ♥  
> See ya next time xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well

‘’Where is she?’’

‘’Godfather, we …’’

‘’I SAID WHERE IS SHE?’’

_Silence._

The whole room was filled with dead silence and so much tension between the men. Nobody was brave enough to say something after everything that happened tonight. Everyone knew what was going to happen _if_ they eventually find _her_.

Daniel was pacing around the room like a caged animal, waiting for answers.

His stoic figure looked too calm. His facial expression didn’t show up anything at all. It was a calm before the storm. Nobody knew that his blood was boiling through his veins with so much rage and losing his temper was a matter of time. Daniel chose to give them a brief moment before the things get worse. He was waiting for someone to speak, to say anything before he showed them his true colors.

_Silence._

His hands were inching with the need to touch the cold metal of his gun and shoot everyone who still had the courage to look him in the eyes and lie to him.

He trusted them. He thought that he could trust his best men to _protect_ his little treasure before the deal was done. But what did they do instead? They betrayed him. They let her slip away from them, from _him_ because they were useless just like _her_.

_Silence._

Daniel slowly cracked his neck, showing them, that he was losing his patience.

He stopped passing the room, staring at the view from the huge window which was revealing nothing – but pure darkness.

Little droplets of sweat started to form around his forehead, showing that his body was fighting for some kind of dominance. He was on the edge. The time was running so fast and numerous imagines started to play in his head. Where was she? How far was she from the mansion? How she managed to escape? How _he_ let that happen?

Daniel vowed that when he found her, she was going to be sorry for everything she had done tonight. She was going to beg him, to spare her from the pain he was going to cause her. And he was going to enjoy every second of it, even if this was the last time, he was going to see her pretty face before he fulfilled his part of the contract.

_Silence._

Daniel’s fingers touched the gun near his suspenders and a wave of oblivion went through his body. He took a deep breath, giving the men one last chance, before he got rid of them all.

He slowly turned around to finally see the faces of the traitors who looked terrified. Daniel smirked satisfactory, knowing what influence he had on them. It was time to show them who the boss of the Irish mob was. It was time to show them, that no one who had ever tried to play with him, had the chance to leave his house untouched and the most importantly - _alive_.

Daniel took the gun in his hand, ready to point it at them. He was livid. He was fuming with fury. He was the man who had the respect of everyone and he intended to keep with it. He was going to show to these boys what a real hell was and mark his territory with everything he had.

His sinister smile became wider and before he had the chance to pull the trigger, Randy opened his filthy mouth, confessing the truth.

 ‘’She escaped the mansion three hours ago.’’

_Silence._

Daniel’s face expression changed for seconds and now he looked emotionless. He was a chameleon who could adjust himself in any situation he was in. And that’s why the people were afraid of him. They had never had any idea of what was happening in his head or what scenarios were running through his twisty, crazy brain or what his next move would be. That’s why everyone was afraid of Daniel Smoak. That’s why he was willing to call himself _the king_ of the kings.

But the truth was that he wasn’t a king and he didn’t have a kingdom. He was a _viper_ , living in a hole where he was surrounded by everything and everyone who he was claiming as his property. The first rule of knowing a viper, knowing Daniel Smoak, was to _never_ trust him. The viper always waits for the perfect moment to catch its prey. He always manages to get under your skin and when you expect him at least, he attacks you and brings the game to a whole new level. And by the end, he was always the winner and he was taking the prize as his new trophy.

Daniel turned his head away from his traitors, looking straight into the darkness, outside the glass window. _Darkness_ , even the mother nature was in unison with his mood. Darkness, which was consuming him, forcing him to do bad things, to the bad people who were trying to destroy his precious world. The empire which he managed to build from ashes, blood and sweat and turn it into the best organization right after _Solntsevskaya Bratva_.

His fingers slightly traced the remains of the old scar around his neck, reminding him who he truly was. He was Daniel Smoak, the greatest leader of The Irish mob and the person who was ready to do everything by his powers to protect his kingdom from the hands of the enemies, including the girl who claimed to be _his_ daughter.

He knew what he had to do.

This time he chose to let them live and bring her back _home,_ where everything began and where everything was going to end sooner or later _._ He couldn’t wait to take his time with his precious daughter and show her how sorry she should be after everything she did - to him, to the mob and to her _fiancé_.

‘’If you don’t find her till sunrise, you are all dead.’’

* * *

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Silence._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Silence._

Nobody had the courage to break the moment.

Nobody had the courage to move their eyes off of the other.

Nobody had the courage to say something.

Only their hearts were beating in unison.

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Silence._

 

During her childhood years, the silence was Felicity’s biggest weapon and weakness. It was a knife with two blades. It was with or against her. The silence was muting her suffering existence away from the world or it happened to be the best way to keep her mouth shut, so her father could keep leading the whole business as the _Godfather,_ without any hitch _._

Tonight the silence seemed different. Felicity’s father wasn’t here and a part of her, felt relieved.

Somewhere in the middle of the empty road, in the middle of the warm summer night was lying the motionless body of Felicity’s nameless attacker, while she was still in the filthy arms of the person who came out of nowhere and _saved_ her. Her body was still trembling after the aftermath of the previous evidence, while the adrenaline in her body was slowly disappearing and the empty feeling of fear was coming back to life.

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

 

_Silence._

 

The way Oliver’s eyes were roaming on her whole weak body, under the dimmed lights, coming from the headlights of his black BMW, was making Felicity uncomfortable and unsteady.

That was the very first time when she had the chance to get and be that close to a man in her entire life and despite the fact that she imagined that situation completely different in her head, deep inside, she remained puzzled. This man was a mystery to her and no matter how many times she played all scenes in her head since she laid her eyes on him in _Cinema,_ she couldn’t understand his intentions at all. First, he was raising his glass filled with an alcoholic liquid, showing a gesture of hospitality, the next time he was trying to protect her from her father in the unknown room and then he just let her to the hounds and to the biggest beast of them all – Daniel Smoak. No matter how long, Felicity was staring at those deep ocean blue orbs, she couldn’t find something, anything to prove that Oliver Queen wasn’t the coward he showed to be. His face didn’t show any kind of emotion. Was he mad, happy, angry or irritated? For Felicity this question was just another mystery of who was Oliver Queen was? Yes, he was Bratva, yes, he had power just like Daniel, but these were the only things about Felicity was aware of.

A faint noise coming from another engine caught Felicity’s attention and again she was the first one tonight who broke the silent comfort which they managed to establish between them, despite the way she was feeling about Oliver. The noise was getting louder and louder which was an indicator that they weren’t alone anymore and it was time to come back to the harsh reality, in which a man was killed tonight, she was in the middle of nowhere with a Bratva enemy and on top of that sooner or later Felicity was going to face her very angry father, who was already searching for her.

An unknown car passed by Oliver and Felicity and just when she thought that it was nothing bad, the vehicle slowed down and Felicity’s heart started to beat faster again.

Oliver’s grip around her tiny body became tighter. He removed one of his hands from Felicity’s waist, so he could touch the cold steel metal of his gun. He was on alert about everything around him because the long years as a Bratva Captain taught him that when you are outside, you have to trust only your instincts because the least you want is to become the prey of hunt.

The light coming from Oliver’s SUV wasn’t enough for him to have a better look on the almost stopped car. He couldn’t see how many people were inside and what their intentions were, but what he knew was that this scene in front of him, had happened numerous times in his life and it never had a happy ending.

Oliver felt the unsteady breathing of Felicity and how her tiny hands were holding his white shirt for dear life. Her touch was something unknown for him as well. Never in his entire life, he had the chance to be that close to a woman who was something different than a sex toy, for him. His life was full with so much darkness, pain and coldness, that a simple gesture like that, at the very moment, was something which was driving Oliver crazy inside, because he hadn’t control over it, compared to everything else in his life. He didn’t know how to react. He decided to hold his gun tighter and focus on the treat in front of him which was the easier option.

The black window of the car slowly started to roll down. Felicity hid her face in Oliver’s chest, while he was ready to shoot whoever was in that damn car.

‘’Everything’s going be okay. Everything is going be okay. Everything is going be okay.’’ Felicity started to whisper to herself, rocking back and forth in Oliver’s arms.

He removed his gaze from the car and looked down at her. Oliver didn’t know what to do. Every time he was outside or he had a dangerous meeting he was prepared for everything, including to kill if he had to, but what was happening right now was definitely something unexpected for him, because he hadn’t the ability to comfort people or at least to make them feel better. This wasn’t Oliver Queen. He was the ruthless Captain of Solntsevskaya Bratva who was ruling it since he was _a boy_. He was a machine for killing and destroying every threat on his path as a powerful leader. He was cold, emotionless, possessive, a man of his word, even some people dared to call him heartless, but being someone who care about anyone except him? That wasn’t Oliver Queen. But he was sure as hell that Felicity Smoak was something else. He didn’t know if it was good or bad, or it was because she was the daughter of Daniel Smoak, but he could swear that she was different.

Oliver was so lost in his thoughts that he forgot to focus on the car in front of him. And that was something unusual for him, all because of the girl in his arms.

‘’Hey Sweet Cheeks, I hope you have good time tonight with your man because if he doesn’t take good care of you, we can always fix the problem!’’ A young drink man showed his head out of the window while another noises came from the dark vehicle. The music inside was so loud that Oliver couldn’t decide how many people were but he was sure that they all were drunk and probably on drugs as well. The thing which caught his attention was the familiar voice. ‘’Oh come on, Sweet Cheeks, don’t hide your pretty face behind this idiot, you know we are better than him!’’

Until now, another wave of panic was washing over every fiber of Felicity’s body. The way these men were talking, their behavior, how confident they sound, made her fear for her life all over again.

At first, she thought that Randy and Stefan or even worse – _her father_ had found her and they were going to drag her back to the mansion, but, despite the fact that she felt deeply relieved that they weren’t the ones, she still felt on the edge. No matter how old she was, she didn’t have that wide knowledge of the world, outside the Irish mob. She never understood the young kids and their recklessness or why they chose to have one night stands instead of long time relationships, or why they were drinking for fun. All of that was so unknown for her senses, that made her fear even more. That’s how she realized how isolated life she was leading, compared to the people on her age.

‘’Show your pretty face, Sweet Cheeks’’ one of the men inside the car was laughing hysterically, showing that there was something off, something dangerous in his voice which made Felicity sick. She was used to his language because almost every man from the mob was using similar phrases to her but the difference was that, at least she was always on places full with people and they couldn’t do anything to her and now, she was sitting on the dusty road in the arms of the enemy - Oliver Queen, surrounded by a bunch of drunk idiots who were trying to hit on her.

‘’Enough!’’

_Silence._

 

Only the music from the car could be heard.

_Silence._

 

Felicity managed to feel Oliver’s heavy breathing. The way he was focused on the boys, made her feel in danger. There was something in his voice, an authority which was making the whole situation even worse. His body language showed how stilled and on alert he was, but also Felicity could feel how much anger was building inside him. She was too familiar with it, because she had seen the same thing happening to her father.

 

_Silence._

Nobody moved, not even the mysterious guys. Oliver’s voice had so huge influence, it was filled with so much tension and rage that hypnotized everyone on their seats.

Felicity clenched her right hand into fist to prevent the panic attack and another thin crimson line made its way down her hand, from the previous wound she created with the razor, in her bathroom. That’s what she needed a little pain, a little adrenaline to keep her sane and to stop the shaking.

‘’Ca … Cap … Captain, is that you?’’ one of the guys mumbled with an accent, ashamed and immediately regretting the whole scene they created.

Oliver’s whole manner changed for seconds. Felicity heard a sound of something falling on the gravel and she found it logical to be Oliver’s gun. He loosened the grip around her body and the moment he did it, she felt some kind of emptiness. It’s like the whole scene was repeating again for the second time tonight. He saved her, he was _‘’comforting’’_ her and now he was letting her go again, because he clearly was choosing the other side again. And that hurt. Hell, that hurt.

Felicity knew that she couldn’t trust him. She knew that he was just like them and yet she showed vulnerability in front of him and he took it, played with it and now he was throwing it away again.

The thought of how stupid she felt and looked like, made her sicker. She clenched her fist even tighter until more blood was tingling her senses, while the pain _was taking everything away_.

She was grateful that the darkness was covering her true-self, away from Oliver’s eyes but she was feeling helpless, because she didn’t know what to do anymore. She wanted to break, to run, to scream but only the _silence_ was muting her suffering.

‘’Take you pathetic asses and get the hell out of my eyes!’’ Oliver yelled at the guys. ‘’I will take care of all of you, as soon as I come back to the mansion.’’

‘’But … but Captain we … we are very sor …’’

‘’Shut your mouth up, Dmitri! I don’t need your apology!’’ Oliver completely let go of Felicity and stood up, so he was looking the traitors right in the eyes. ‘’Get the hell out of my eyes! I can’t stand watching you’’ Oliver hit their car.

He was so livid that he was ready to break their necks right there on that empty road, just like he shot the other idiot.

‘’Извините пожалуйста, Капитан.‘‘

‘’You better be, because you have no idea what I do with idiots like you every single day.’’ Oliver growled to his people.

Felicity covered her ears, to silence their voices because she had enough of everyone tonight. All she wanted was to lay and forget that she ever existed. She was so tired, so emotionally exhausted of everyone and everything, that she didn’t mind to close her eyes and to never wake up again.

What was her mother going to do in that situation? What was she going to tell her? Had she ever felt the way her daughter was feeling right now? Because that pain, that hell was nothing compared to the hell that was in Felicity’s soul. She closed her eyes and prayed that this was just another nightmare and soon, she will wake up from it and everything in her life will be better. But she knew. She knew that this was the reality and it was slowly eating her, consuming her _alive_.

Felicity was startled by the hand on her shoulder. She didn’t have the power to turn around and see the face of the person. But she didn’t even need to. She felt the familiar warmth of the man who was holding her in his arms minutes ago. She sensed that musky sent in which she strangely found comfort and yet, she couldn’t wait to wipe it out of her clothes and body.

Felicity was so focused on everything which was running through her mind that she completely missed out, when the car drove away and when Oliver was the only one left on the empty road, with her again.

 

_Silence._

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

 

_Silence._

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

Their hearts were beating in sync.

Nobody had the courage to look the other in the eyes.

The only connection they had was Oliver’s hand on Felicity’s shoulder.

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Silence._

Yet again, the things repeated for numerous time this night.

They were the only ones standing in the middle of nowhere and the body of the dead man was still lying somewhere on the cold gravel.

But there was something different. There was something different in them.

They both experienced what was like to be with someone who they imagined in their dreams, because the harsh life they were leading, didn’t allow them to.

‘’We should go.’’ For the first time, Oliver was the one who broke the silence between them.

Felicity didn’t have the energy to move and to speak but the way how softly Oliver spoke, caught her of guard. Moments ago, he was the ruthless and angry mobster and now he sounded like nothing had happened at all. And that added another piece of the unsolved puzzle of who Oliver Queen was.

‘’Where are we?’’ dryly Felicity asked, staring in the darkness.

‘’In my lands. The Queen property if we had to be more accurate.’’

That answer startled Felicity and she felt unsteady feel building inside. In _Oliver Queen’s property_. How long she managed to walk? How many hours she was walking without a direction, to be on his territory? She was in the lion’s den and she knew that she had to get out of here as soon as possible.

Felicity got up from the ground brushed the dry blood from her hand in her sweatshirt. She preferred to hide the evidence of her pain, rather than being questioned by _him_. She cleaned the dirt from her knees and hands as much as she could in the darkness and started to walk again despite the protests of her body, leaving Oliver Queen _alone_.

She put her hands in the pockets of her cloth and started to move as fast as she could because the longer she was staying here, the bigger the chances, of her father to find her, were getting.

Felicity heard a rush behind herself and she increased her speed. Her legs were hurting so bad that she was sure that she was completely walking on a pure adrenaline at the moment. The sound of running was getting so close but Felicity knew that she couldn’t move faster anymore. She was so exhausted that sooner or later she was going to fell.

Something griped her wrist and Felicity hissed in pain. She was so focused on the pain that she started to lose the balance under her feet. It’s like her legs froze and she couldn’t move and now she was falling on the ground. She closed her eyes tight and waited to hit the gravel road again but instead, two strong arms caught her right, before the fall.

She was pressed chest to chest, heart to heart with another human being. Felicity didn’t have the power to open her eyes and see the other person because she was scared that another bad thing was about to happen to her again.

A single tear made its sweet way down her flushed cheek. The pain in her wrist was forgotten. Only the fear of the unknown was commanding her senses now.

The musky sent of comfort hitched her breath and again she was in the arms of the enemy.

_Silence._

 

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

_Thump – thump._

 

Their hearts were beating so fast, fighting, searching for some kind of dominance in this mad, mad world.

Nobody was brave enough to broke the silent conversation which their hearts were having. Nobody had the power to let go of the other in fear to break the spell. The war they were leading, the thin line they were crossing, was burning them alive and yet no one of them was ready to quit the game.

Oliver was staring at her, wondering what her story was because everyone had a story behind closed doors. Despite the fact how much he hated her for reasons he couldn’t say out loud, he knew that something in him broke tonight. Something which he was keeping looked for years, hiding it in the shadows. And _she_ was the reason.

She caught his attention the moment she walked in _Cinema_ with her father and his bodyguards. But he knew that she will never be _his_ because what he had with Daniel Smoak, meant that Felicity was automatically involved in it too.

After all, he was the ruthless Bratva Captain. He closed his heart and shut off his emotions long years ago. He promised that he won’t ever fell in love with someone who was making him weak. He was Oliver Queen, the man who had everything and everyone he wished for. He was an arrogant and selfish bastard.

Something snapped in him and reminded him who he was. He was a monster, his humanity side died the moment he became Bratva Captain and that’s how it has to be.

Oliver watched closely Felicity’s expressions and he saw none of them. He knew that he was taking the right decision and nothing or _no one_ was going to stop him.

‘’I’m bringing you back to your father.’’ He said.

Her ocean blue eyes opened and she met his.

That’s when Felicity knew it, Oliver Queen was a chameleon with many colors just like her father and now he finally showed his true one – the color of _the traitor_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘’Извините пожалуйста, Капитан.‘‘ • I'm very sorry, Captain.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you do think? Kudos and comments feed the muse!  
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